What can you get out of working with a divorce mediator?

Tags: Mediation

By Steffan Lawson

Published Jul 20, 2022


It can be overwhelming and stressful for you to go through divorce proceedings, especially having to spend long hours in the court, and battling it out with your ex-spouse in public. You are aware that fighting will have a detrimental effect on your kids. While there are several approaches for getting a divorce, the best way to avoid bitterness and contention is to opt for divorce mediation. Before we find out more about the advantages of divorce mediation, let us learn more about what role divorce mediators actually play during a divorce.

The Role Of A Divorce Mediator:

Very few people are aware of the benefits of opting for divorce mediation despite its reputation. Here are some important facts you need to know about divorce mediators:

  • They ensure that everything relating to the divorce takes place discreetly, and not in public

  • They help the divorce proceedings take place peacefully for couples who are unable to sort out their differences on their own

  • Their role is to provide an out-of-court tool to assist people with settling their differences in a sensible way and with minimal involvement from the legal system

While there are many divorce mediators offering assistance, you need to look for only experienced and qualified professionals with a proper history to help you with your divorce.

10 Good Reasons To Hire A Divorce Mediator:

The following lines throw light on why you should opt for divorce mediation instead of undergoing the hassle involved in legal separation:

1. Your Children Will Get The First Priority

Divorce mediators prioritize your kids above everything else. In divorce mediation, building a plan for parenting is a primary collaborative process in which the common goal is doing what’s best for you kids. A mediator will assist both the spouses by educating them in a neutral way about focusing on the requirements of the kids while keeping the parents engaged in a less inflammatory and more sensitive process. In custody trials, your children will be subject to observations and interviews by many experts, and may have to make a court appearance. This might expose them to the animosity and verbal abuses between the spouses that will cause them confusion, stress and lasting damage.

2. You Will Save Time

Divorce mediators ensure that neither you nor your spouse spends much time to resolve issues. 2-3 mediation sessions are enough for resolving conflicts. However, in litigation, months might just pass by before you get a court date, leave alone getting legally separated.

3. It Will Be Less Expensive

Typically, both the spouses will need to pay only one professional who will dedicate his/her assistance in helping both of you come to a resolution. Payment will need to be made for the meetings with the divorce mediator as well as for the time spent by the mediator in drafting a separation agreement. On the contrary, in case of litigation, both the spouses will need to make payment to their separate attorneys for meetings, drafting motion papers as well as for court appearances. A lot of money is spent when the divorce battle lasts for a long time.

4. The Outcomes Are Better

A proficient mediator can help you and your spouse to generate new skills to communicate with each other. If the two of you can stop arguing about what happened in the past, then it will become easier for the two of you to move on in life. With time, the stress will also reduce for both of you. The mediator and you get to select the topics for discussion and settlement. It is you who will have the final say in the agreement terms, and not the court. Strangers will not be in charge of significant decisions regarding you or your children. Both of you can control the pace of the decisions, the filing of the divorce petition and the divorce terms. In case of litigation, the attorneys get to set the date of court hearings and the judges make the final decisions with very limited information and time.

5. The Process Is Less Adversarial

In mediation, the problem solving takes place in a cooperative manner wherein the requirements of both the parties are addresses. A divorce mediator can freely talk about points that no attorney would raise due to strategic reasons. That does not mean that by opting for divorce mediation, you have given up your right to go to the court. But it is always better to opt for a peaceful separation.

6. Flexibility In Timing

It is very much possible that both of you are working, and it is very difficult for you to cut out time from work for your divorce. It will only add stress to a situation that is already difficult. Majority of the divorce mediators offer weekend and evening appointments along with daytime meetings. As a result, this flexibility in timings helps you maintain your professional and personal obligations, while moving on with your divorce.

7. Personal Attention Is Given

When you opt for divorce mediation, you will be working directly with the mediator. It is the mediator who will get the consensus regarding the resolution process. The divorce mediator will also explore, elicit as well as generate several options that will help you come to a negotiation. Finally, the mediator will refine the decisions on your behalf and help you get to an agreement. Majority of the judges are understaffed and overworked with loads of cases. These judges don’t have the opportunity or time to personally know more about your family, and have to speak with the lawyers much more than those actually getting the divorce.

8. Involves Only The Spouses

In case of mediation, only the mediator stays with the two of you while working out the issues through discussions. Neither does the mediator rule nor does he/she decide on your issues the way a judge does. It is up to the both of you to come to a resolution. The mediation takes place in private, and is a quiet affair without any outsider involved or present.

9. Ensures Post-Divorce Stability

Contrary to the traditional litigation system’s adversarial nature, a mediator always looks to improve your communication with your spouse and vice-versa. This assists in moving the process forward in a peaceful way so that you both can gain better results. You have the option of returning to the mediator in case of future conflicts. It is the mediator who will assist in moderating disputes as well as clarifying or modifying your agreement with the passage of time. Since the mediator is well aware of the agreement and knows all about the family issues, he/she can step in whenever you need them to.

10. Outcome Is In Your Control

When you opt for mediation, the entire process is in your control, you can easily sort out the disagreement with your spouse and work out a peaceful resolution that will benefit both of you. And, there is no question of waiting for months to resolve your issues the way you have to in case you head for the court.

To Conclude

With so many benefits associated with mediation, there is no reason why you should not be looking for a divorce mediator. If you and your spouse can not agree on one single thing and your filing an online divorce, it best to use a mediator to save yourself thousands by not hiring an attorney. It is the job of divorce mediators to help spouses resolve all their conflicts in the least adversarial manner that profits both the parties all through their lives.